Posts tagged movie
Paramount Pictures Presents
A Michael Bay Film
SON OF ABRAHAM
What would you do if God told your dad to kill you?
COMING SOON TO THEATERS
(but not really)
Sometimes I like to pretend there’s a better world out there somewhere.
One with a live-action Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers movie directed by Michael Bay.
Okay, so maybe not a better world.
At first I was going to be a cynical ass about this Puss in Boots trailer, but, well. Then I actually watched it, and it looks better than the Shrek movies. And given that the Shrek movies are pretty much the only thing CGI related of any quality that Dreamworks puts out, I’m pretty interested in this.
I mean, it looks like Cliched Action Fantasy Movie 101, starring Ridiculous Renditions of Fairy Tale Creatures.
And I am OK with that.
Made this awhile back with a picture taken and enhanced by my good friend Joseph.
One of my better faux movie posters.
It’s a good thing that I don’t really like the X-Men.
Clarification: I like the X-Men. I just don’t really like them.
I watched the 90s cartoon some back in the day (don’t watch it now unless you own a pair of rose-tinted glasses, because like every cartoon from the 90s not starring Batman, it is trash) but I just don’t love the X-Men. I like them, they’re cool.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have a penchant for rag tag groups of mutant teenagers (heroes in a half shell, TURTLE POWER)—but no, I can’t tell you who the X-Men fought in the October 2001 issue of Astonishing X-Men. No, I can’t tell you which dimension Cable came from. No, I can’t tell you one damn thing about the X-Men other than every damn thing everyone else has osmose’d from general pop culture.
So. That brings me to why I love that I don’t like the X-Men. It’s fairly simple.
It means that I can enjoy any media product starring a team of mutants and enjoy it so long as it’s good. Not caring about continuity is wonderful, and so is X-Men: First Class.
Some people will tell you that X2 is better.
These people are wrong.
And they’re wrong because this is the first X-Men movie to really add any focus to my favorite aspect of the X-Men—a bunch of kids learning who they are, and becoming the mutants they were meant to be.
Most reviews at some point compare this film to James Bond, or the older X-Men films. My favorite parts were the ones I’d compare to Harry Potter.
Which leads me to my closing statement.
Dear Hollywood,
Please make an X-Men coming of age tv high school drama. One Tree Hill with super powers. Harry Potter, with sci-fi instead of magic.
Ellen Paige instead of Hermione.
This is the teenage super drama that should have been on the air the past decade, not Smallville.
Love,
Corty.
Anyway. Thanks, all zero of you who read this.
Goodnight, internet.
dear internet,
i like horrible and terrible things. yes, yes, question my taste in popular culture, you are the idiots who back brought Family Guy on the wings of the phoenix, not me.
example one, i own the live-action Super Mario Brothers movie. yes, it is amazing. thank you.
so today in my life i learned that Sam Raimi, the visionary behind the revolutionary Spider-Man 3, is directing a World of Warcraft movie.
W
T
F
thanks,
me
